Not Bad At All

My goodness it's been forever since I blogged here! Ok, roughly about 7 months or so but I guess I just found myself trapped in writer's block when really nobody was waiting for me to say anything anyway. Maybe it's because my 30th birthday is around the corner that I suddenly found the urge to simply write.

Let's face it, blogging is just for me. People may stop by and take a glance at one of my entries every now and then and be on their merry way. I don't grab that kind of attention. Sometimes I let it get to me and wonder, "Why care if no one else does?!" But what kind of attention would I get with the shit I write? I mean, I go off on tangents all the time and mainly, bitch a lot because it's easy. I don't really have a sense of purpose and feel I often say the same thing over again in different ways. But then...I figured fuck it. I'm on here to be here so I decided that today was the day to say, "Hey" all over again.

I definitely have to give credit to my sister who decided to update me with a brand new computer, complete with a HUGE monitor and my very own printer! I know she's a week early with the gifts, but I'm glad she didn't wait with this one! Then again, it was hard to miss big ol' boxes on top of my bed. I didn't have my glasses on at first so I thought it was just a mess left for me to clean up. But as I got closer, I just couldn't believe it. Seriously, I'm still in shock as I sit here and type this. I feel so professional as I type by the way. I feel like I've hit my prime now that I can log onto the Internet in seconds vs. well, ions. I feel like a real writer (even though I'm technically writing to myself).

Note: It's amazing the lengths my family and I will go for each other. My sisters are by far the most amazing that I fail to even react in such a manner that would show it anymore. Not that I expect it all the time, but I do know that they would do just about anything for me. That alone no longer surprises me. But I don't feel guilty about that. I feel special and extremely lucky! End note.

Hmmm...where was I?

I know the last time I wrote here, it was to say goodbye to one career choice in order to return to another. I came back to my old employer, but this time I took a risk and ventured off into a new direction: volunteer coordination. And no, I've never done it before or ever thought about it as something I would do well. But I had to make a change because I couldn't be in a position where I just didn't see myself moving any further. I couldn't be ok with just being ok with what I do anymore.

Note: Remember senior year in high school when they tell you to write about where you see yourself in 10 years? Well, I can't even remember what the hell I wrote. I'm guessing somewhere along the lines of business management. Something that sounded good on paper, but I cared less about I'm sure. I just wanted to look back and say, "Not bad." End note.

I took a chance, which I have to admit I strongly thought was a mistake when I was stuck on the 21st floor without a working computer and barely any real ground-breaking assignments for the first few months. I kept thinking, "Wow, I wonder if anyone even notices I'm at work?" But, I stuck it out and even survived through a week-long, disastrous trip in San Francisco to prove myself worthy of something better.

I didn't want to regret the decisions I made. I mean, I lost myself a few years back and had to re-track my steps and return home. I felt unproductive and almost like a kid who disappointed their parents for the first time. It still sucks to think about it, but living in this economy nowadays I know I'm not the only one that had to do what I did to regain my footing. They even have a name for us: "Boomerang kids (because we came right back where we started from)."

So, 7 days before my big 3-0 and I've got to admit that life ain't so bad. Over a decade older and passed my 3-month probationary period in my new role, I'm in a nicely-furnished corner office and coordinating a successful volunteer program. I have a truly wonderful family, a job I'm proud of and happy to say I'm doing well in and of course, several more things to look forward to: a home of my own, a man that has stood by me through some crazy shit, and beautiful children (even if they are not my own) that I'll get to see grow right before my eyes! And now, with my fancy new equipment I'll be able to write about it.

No, not bad, not bad at all.