Surprise For Me?!

I have an excruciating headache and feel extremely bloated that even elastic pants suffocate me. My eyes are red, itchy and full of pressure that any moment now they're gonna pop! I have tension in my shoulders and sharp pains continuing their way towards my lower back. My knees are weak and my body is going through stages of the oh-so-wonderful hot and cold flashes.

But...

I am utterly and completely happy!

Last night (Saturday, May 30th), my beautiful baby sister Bea planned a Disney's "Alice in Wonderland" themed surprise party entitled, Nelly in Wonderland. I even had adorable souvenirs (a deck of cards for the boys and lovely black headbands for the "girls") to go along with the overall theme.

I just didn't see this coming! I knew they had something up their sleeves, but not to this degree. With the help of my older sister, Ate they plotted every minute leading up to the event. From the evites to the venue, everything was kept on the hush. No hidden clues to uncover. No text messages to decipher or emails to give away any tiny detail. Not a single paper trail lead me to believe that such a surprise was well underway!

I was so unaware of it all that my bestfriend, Pam had to come up with a last minute clever lie to get me back to Pasadena. I remember seeing her picture on my phone as her incoming call rang in thinking, "Ok, she either needs something or something bad happened." Either way I thought it wasn't good news. I picked up and right away she blurted out that her car broke down a few miles away from her place and absolutely NO ONE could come to her aid. She had the kids with her and didn't want to be alone. This was unlike her. She's handled worst-case scenarios before, but she sounded frantic...a little too panicky that I had to take a moment and collect myself in order to remain calm. I started offering every possible suggestion in the book since I was no where near the area. Calling AAA and other family members nearby, but to my dismay she shot down every single option, except of course for one: having me head all the way back to where I came from to get her.

I didn't want to tell my boyfriend, Chey at first because I knew he'd be upset and not to mention irritated that all of this was happening. We had already been late to his friend's graduation party and I really didn't want to leave so soon since we had only been there for about an hour (little did I know they knew of my party beforehand). Then suddenly, Chey became too accommodating to my needs and actually seemed willing to "rescue" Pam. I had my doubts about his niceness, but didn't catch on to it nonetheless. I think he noticed my curiosity because he finally started acting like a frustrated jerk in the car and then I thought, "Oh, there's the man I know so well!" I was starting to wonder why he didn't mind at all, but as his Mr. Nice Guy persona grew thin, my suspicions left me.

As we drove up towards the parking structure, people started screaming! I couldn't make out what they were saying so I dismissed it altogether. I kept thinking, "Geez, of all the spots in the city, Pam had to pick the most crowded one to get stuck in..." My patience wore out so fast that I even asked Chey to monitor the time so we only had to pay $1.00 for parking (I had no idea we'd be there ALL night)!

So there we were, walking out of the lot when a whole mess of people started screaming again. I turned around, embarrassed, thinking they were screaming at someone else and was even a little hesitant to cross the street (again, it didn't occur to me at all that all of this was for me).

Until of course, I moved in closer.

Chey held my hand as we crossed the street. Obviously, the first person I looked for was Pam and I kept thinking, "Wow, why is she in front of so many people?!" I didn't even realize all the faces surrounding me were my people until my friend Genaro jumped up and gave me a big hug. I almost blurted out, "Hey, what are you doing here?!"

And then more friends starting popping up: Andy, Jaime, Jesse, Quoc...

Then my family: Joey Joe, Erin, Joan, my sisters, and even my two most special cousins from up north Ruthie & Ricky (whom I shrieked at in all excitement because they travelled from San Francisco just to celebrate with me for one night)!

More and more people came up to me. Joe Bean, my brother in-law Leonard, Chey's sister Amber, Lea, Maria, Pam's husband Mike. Neil and Michelle trickled in too. Mostly everyone in my life was there.

I almost fainted! But of course... I did the inevitable... I cried.

A lot.

Tears rolled down passed my liquid black eyeliner and streaked across my flushed-red cheeks. All I kept thinking was, "Why oh why did I have to wear my bulky, black parka out of the car?!"

I should've arrived stunning, but then as I continued to make my way through the crowd, I suddenly felt fabulous. They were there for me.

All. For. Me.

It was unbelievable. Something I had only dreamed about once before, but never figured would ever become a reality, especially without planning it for myself.

Surprised?

Ya, I guess you could say that.

Not Bad At All

My goodness it's been forever since I blogged here! Ok, roughly about 7 months or so but I guess I just found myself trapped in writer's block when really nobody was waiting for me to say anything anyway. Maybe it's because my 30th birthday is around the corner that I suddenly found the urge to simply write.

Let's face it, blogging is just for me. People may stop by and take a glance at one of my entries every now and then and be on their merry way. I don't grab that kind of attention. Sometimes I let it get to me and wonder, "Why care if no one else does?!" But what kind of attention would I get with the shit I write? I mean, I go off on tangents all the time and mainly, bitch a lot because it's easy. I don't really have a sense of purpose and feel I often say the same thing over again in different ways. But then...I figured fuck it. I'm on here to be here so I decided that today was the day to say, "Hey" all over again.

I definitely have to give credit to my sister who decided to update me with a brand new computer, complete with a HUGE monitor and my very own printer! I know she's a week early with the gifts, but I'm glad she didn't wait with this one! Then again, it was hard to miss big ol' boxes on top of my bed. I didn't have my glasses on at first so I thought it was just a mess left for me to clean up. But as I got closer, I just couldn't believe it. Seriously, I'm still in shock as I sit here and type this. I feel so professional as I type by the way. I feel like I've hit my prime now that I can log onto the Internet in seconds vs. well, ions. I feel like a real writer (even though I'm technically writing to myself).

Note: It's amazing the lengths my family and I will go for each other. My sisters are by far the most amazing that I fail to even react in such a manner that would show it anymore. Not that I expect it all the time, but I do know that they would do just about anything for me. That alone no longer surprises me. But I don't feel guilty about that. I feel special and extremely lucky! End note.

Hmmm...where was I?

I know the last time I wrote here, it was to say goodbye to one career choice in order to return to another. I came back to my old employer, but this time I took a risk and ventured off into a new direction: volunteer coordination. And no, I've never done it before or ever thought about it as something I would do well. But I had to make a change because I couldn't be in a position where I just didn't see myself moving any further. I couldn't be ok with just being ok with what I do anymore.

Note: Remember senior year in high school when they tell you to write about where you see yourself in 10 years? Well, I can't even remember what the hell I wrote. I'm guessing somewhere along the lines of business management. Something that sounded good on paper, but I cared less about I'm sure. I just wanted to look back and say, "Not bad." End note.

I took a chance, which I have to admit I strongly thought was a mistake when I was stuck on the 21st floor without a working computer and barely any real ground-breaking assignments for the first few months. I kept thinking, "Wow, I wonder if anyone even notices I'm at work?" But, I stuck it out and even survived through a week-long, disastrous trip in San Francisco to prove myself worthy of something better.

I didn't want to regret the decisions I made. I mean, I lost myself a few years back and had to re-track my steps and return home. I felt unproductive and almost like a kid who disappointed their parents for the first time. It still sucks to think about it, but living in this economy nowadays I know I'm not the only one that had to do what I did to regain my footing. They even have a name for us: "Boomerang kids (because we came right back where we started from)."

So, 7 days before my big 3-0 and I've got to admit that life ain't so bad. Over a decade older and passed my 3-month probationary period in my new role, I'm in a nicely-furnished corner office and coordinating a successful volunteer program. I have a truly wonderful family, a job I'm proud of and happy to say I'm doing well in and of course, several more things to look forward to: a home of my own, a man that has stood by me through some crazy shit, and beautiful children (even if they are not my own) that I'll get to see grow right before my eyes! And now, with my fancy new equipment I'll be able to write about it.

No, not bad, not bad at all.