the haunting past

Why do I always look into the past to figure out what the hell is going on at this moment in time? Simple. It made me who I am today. Someone once told me, how am I suppose to move on if I keep turning around to face the opposite direction? I'm just now starting to realize the common sense of this question. I know I've recently tried to let go by opening a closed chapter. To let go of anger, pain, resentment, sadness, all of which has made me doubt that good things can happen to good people. And it feels like I've healed that part of my life. This was never about anyone else, but me. I hate to an endless degree, but love like no other. I live by extremes emotionally. And when that's broken, it can never be what it once was. I know the diffence between my "past" and my "present." Then, I moved in constant circles. Even with someone, I was still alone. Now, I'm moving forwards. I'm tired of being dizzy. This was never a competition, but a choice I had made even before there was anyone willing to stick by me to choose from. I said what I had to say. Took out my aggression on the one who deserved to hear it. And am no longer angry. I don't do things half-ass. So take it as you will. I will always be true to myself.